The Fellowship goes on a Field Trip
by AragornSurfer
Summary: The Fellowship travels to the museum. Pure dumbness, but pretty funny!
1. The Beginning thats better than the end

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone from the Lord of the Rings, but I wish I could, just like the rest of you LOTR maniacs;)  
  
Gandalf: We're going on a field trip!  
  
Merry: Where?  
  
Gandalf: To the Museum, where else? Field trips are supposed to be pointless and boring.  
  
Merry: Oh.   
  
Aragorn: *walking back from a phone* I just ordered a taxi over the phone. Cool.  
  
*Fellowship arrives in a museum*  
  
*Aragorn runs to the pile of plastic swords in the gift shop*  
  
Aragorn: Ooh! Narsil!  
  
Boromir: It isn't sharp! What am I supposed to do if it isn't sharp!  
  
Legolas: Wash it.  
  
Pippin: Eat it.  
  
Aragorn: I'm buying it.  
  
*Boromir walks over to Gandalf*  
  
Gandalf: Hey, this door won't open!  
  
Frodo: Mellon.  
  
Sam: No, can't you read? It says Staff Only.  
  
Gandalf: Staff? I have a staff!  
  
*Boromir slaps forehead*  
  
Boromir: Crap. Forgot that knife was in there. And its still sharp.  
  
Frodo: I saw that coming.  
  
Ringwraith #6 appears: GIMME THE RING!  
  
Security Guard #41: Excuse me, big man on horse, this is a museum, so you'll have to be quiet.   
  
Ringwraith #6: Oh shush.  
  
Frodo: Aragorn! Help me! I'm scared and helpless! And I think I wet myself!  
  
Aragorn: *slaps forhead* I knew this was coming.  
  
Gandalf: Didn't we all.  
  
Pippin: I'm hungry!  
  
  
Please stay tuned for Chapter 2! It'll be funnier! 


	2. Sauron is Slightly Injured

Chapter 2: Slightly Stupider, please R/R!  
  
  
*Gandalf pulls out a muffin from a robe fold*  
  
Pippin: Thanks!  
  
*Merry grabs muffin from Gandalf before Pippin can get it*  
  
Merry: Yoink!  
  
Legolas: Um, Mr. Security Guard Guy, where's the bathroom?  
  
Security Guard #12: The girls bathroom is to your left three doors down.  
  
Legolas: But I'm a man!  
  
Security Guard #12: Sure, and that guy over there *points to Boromir* is alive...  
  
Boromir: Insult me again and you have a knife in your head too.  
  
*Museum doors burst open*  
  
Frodo: Crap! *Frodo hides behind Gimli*  
  
*Sauron walks through doors*  
  
Security Guard #8: If you're loud like that other big guy...  
  
*Sauron squashes Security Guard*  
  
Security Guard #8: Ouch!  
  
Sauron: GIMME THE RING!  
  
Frodo: It'll cost you $39.99!!!  
  
Sauron: Uh? I only have 35 dollars! Hey, Shagrat! Can I borrow 5 dollars!  
  
*A slightly disoriented Shagrat walks in through doors*  
  
Shagrat: No...money...needs for....armor....against...big spider...thing   
  
(A/N- Sorry...this would be from ROTK! Shelob...big spider thingy!)  
  
Sauron: Ugh!   
  
*Sauron leaves museum*  
  
Sauron: I'll get you for this!  
  
Sauron falls into a pothole in the road and is "severely hurt"  
  
Boromir: He looks like me now!  
  
Aragorn: *walking over to a display of ancient helmets* These could prove useful....  
  
Gandalf: Yea, if they weren't as old as Legolas...  
  
Legolas: Hey! You're older than me!  
  
Gandalf: Shut up.  
  
*Aragorn pulls out his sword*  
  
Security Guard #13: Sorry, I'll have to confiscate this...no weapons are allowed in here.  
  
Please read Chapter 3 coming soon! More dumbness=) 


	3. Aragorn loses his sword...

Chapter 3: Maybe last chapter? Not sure...please R/R!  
  
Aragorn: What am I supposed to do without my sword? Those orcs will beat me up!  
  
Security Guard #13: Should have thought of that before!  
  
Gandalf: *pulls out a stopwatch* Oh crap! Sarumans gonna realize I flew off Orthanc by now!  
  
Sam: Uh...Mr. Gandalf sir, should we leave now? I think we've scared all the enemies...and Saurons getting run over by tiny cars...  
  
Frodo: Yes, and I need another smoke....  
  
Legolas: Smoking can cause severe asthma, pneumonia, and lung cancer. It also messes up your appearance, which is the most important thing in the world!  
  
Gandalf: Yea, well, too bad, we've gotta go...  
  
Aragorn: But my sword!  
  
Boromir: *pulls a sword out of his back* Take this....  
  
Fellowship: Eew....  
  
*Fellowship leaves museum, and has walked into a forest*  
  
Merry: Gandalf? This isn't stupid anymore! I think the orcs are really coming!  
  
Pippin: Yes, and I think I dropped my apple a few miles back!  
  
Aragorn: Gandalf, I'm swordless...  
  
Boromir: I tried to help...  
  
* 8 ringwraiths appear in front of the Fellowship*  
  
*Aragorn and Frodo squeal and run behind Boromir's shield/dinner plate*  
  
Aragorn and Frodo: EEKKK!  
  
Ringwraith #4: He took my line...  
  
Ringwraith #7: You'll live. Let me pass!  
  
Gandalf: Never! You shall not pass!  
  
Ringwraith #1: Oh that went out with colored robes, now if you don't let us pass, we're gonna miss the make-up sale at the mall!  
  
Legolas: Make-up can't fix you!  
  
Ringwraith #6: Can't fix you either!  
  
*Legolas storms away*  
  
Sam: Glad to see him gone!  
  
  
Chapter 3 has been cut off as parents need computer! Chapter 4 will be coming sometime soon! Please R/R this chapter! 


	4. The Ending thats worse than the rest of ...

Chapter 4: The Fellowship FINALLY returns to Middle Earth! Please R/R!  
  
Legolas: *voice trailing off into the distance* I'm not leaving for looooonnnnnnnnggggg!  
  
Aragorn: *looking at a ringwraiths shiny ring* Hey! I got an idea!  
  
Gandalf: What now...?  
  
Pippin: I know what you're looking at! *Pippin turns his head towards a leaf on the ground* A leaf! Its pipeweed!   
  
*Frodo runs towards pipeweed like an idiot*  
  
Frodo: I haven't smoked since the third age!  
  
Gandalf: Frodo, get with it, it IS the third age.  
  
Frodo: hehe...you don't know me...*starts swaying from side to side*  
  
Aragorn: Right....  
  
Ringwraith #3: Give up the Halfling!  
  
*Merry runs towards the Ringwraiths with his arms wide open*  
  
Ringwraith #1: OMG! Can you say psycho?!?  
  
Ringwraiths 2, 5, 7, and 4: Psycho!  
  
*Ringwraith #1 slaps forehead*  
  
Sam: Okay, lets face it, we're in the middle of the USA, where's Middle Earth?  
  
(A/N: Sorry...this is about to get really corny!)  
  
Aragorn: Use the ring...the ringwraith ring!  
  
Ringwraith #8: Oh my god...this is NOT a ring...it's a thingy, okay?  
  
Ringwraith #2: Oh! I have a very good plan for getting us back to Middle Earth...hehe  
  
Gimli: Good! Take us there!  
  
*A bright light surrounds everyone, but nothing happens.*  
  
Merry: Did it break?  
Frodo: Crap! I'm outta pipeweed!  
  
Gandalf: Crap! We're stuck here forever!  
  
Pippin: Crap! I lost my muffin!  
  
Ringwraith #8: *blushing* No, no, it'll work! Trust me...it'll work!  
  
*Another bright light surrounds the fellowship, this time, it actually works!*  
  
*Legolas is seen on top of Barad-Dur...*  
  
Legolas: Hey! Up here!   
  
Gandalf: *mutters some old form of "elvish" to himself, Gwahir appears.*  
  
Gwahir: Hi Legolas, hop on, I'm going to the Shire to pick up some little hobbit kids for school, can't stop at Lorien, so you'll have to come along.  
  
Aragorn: Hey, can we all get a ride to the Shire? We can um......find our way out...  
  
Gandalf: Most of us can...  
  
*Gwahir transport everyone to Shire, everyone lives "happily" ever after...*  
  
The End! I know that stunk, but that was my first Fan Fic! Expect more dumbness in another story... Please R/R this one! Thanks! 


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